Trust

Trust is something ever-so difficult to earn but can be lost in a matter of seconds. In any relationship, be it personal or business, mutual trust is important. Mutual in a sense that the trust must go both ways where both individuals must be able to trust one another for the relationship to function.

Essentially, trust is like glass. The process of crafting glass is delicate and takes a long time to mold it into shape. However, within a matter of seconds, just the slightest error, can cause the glass to break.

Sometimes, it takes months or even years to gain someone’s trust; trust is not something one should be giving out lightly.

Then the question arises of how much can you really trust someone ? How do you know you can trust someone ?

Now, let us examine the fundamental factors affecting trust.

It is highly unlikely that one will just trust someone over night. But then again, trust is not directly proportional to the length of time you know someone. Trusting someone cannot be directly proportional to anything as it will depend on many factors. And one of the significant factors would be the duration of knowing someone. Another one would be how well you know someone.

Knowing someone for a long time does not really mean you know the person well. Sometimes, for some of us, knowing someone for a long time deludes us into a false sense of security that you know the person well.

Through my bitter-sweet experiences, I have come to learn that how well you know someone is dependent on meaningful conversations that goes both ways. I also feel that the experiences you go through with someone helps. However, just having meaningful conversations is not sufficient. It is also important to listen and to understand for the bond between two individuals to develop.

Opening up to someone is difficult. Trusting someone is difficult. Personally, my advice would be not to open up to someone, not to trust someone unless it is really necessary. But sometimes, we just can’t help it and our emotions get the better of us and we slip. We slip, and open ourselves up, making us vulnerable. We show our wounds, our scars, in hopes that this individual, this soul of a person will help to heal them. I am sure we all have been in that position before.

Why then does trusting someone makes us vulnerable ? Trusting the wrong individual with what is personal to you will provide the impetus for him to wield it as a weapon against you, essentially using your own issues against you. However, trusting the right individual with your problems, with your issues, will be akin to a heavy weight lifted off your shoulders. You will feel calm and at ease as you found someone to share your issues, your problems with.

It is difficult to ascertain the right and wrong individuals from each other. At times, the right individuals can also turn against us in times of desperation and need. And you can never truly know the intentions of someone. Hence, you can’t actually trust someone unless you can deduce their true intentions

Trust when you really need to. Open up when you really need to. Learn to be strong. Learn to be independent. Never show your true self to others, unless you can be absolutely certain he/she will not turn against you.

For when there is no mutual trust, desecration, despair and despondence is what awaits you.

~A.